Towel Baseball

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have." - Douglas Adams
Towel baseball is a psychotic, dangerous, and extremely fun game first created by three high school students as a way to pass Towel Day 2007. On this page you will find detailed instructions of play and as many rules as we could figure out in this extremely chaotic game.

Note: We do not take liability for any injuries suffered while playing Towel Baseball. Play at your own risk!

Number of players: There is a bare minimum of 2 players, although it is considerably more fun and heavily recommended to have a third member. Having at least one member as an umpire/substitute is also recommended. In fact, have as many people as you like - the more players, the more psychotic fun for all the family!

What you need: Any respectable game of Towel Baseball requires:

1 small tea-towel (about 40 cm long seems to be ideal)
2 large beach or bathroom towels (the heavier the better)
Panadol. Some of those collisions hurt.

Set-up: The ideal field for an exciting game of Towel Baseball is long and narrow - about 25 meters long, though you'll only use the first 10 or so in a normal game. Wait... what is normal anyway? In width, it should be about 5 to 10 meters. If no location is suitable (dorm corridors are good), just mark out an area with cones. There are three players: the batter, the fielder and the bowler. Therefore, up to this point the set-up resembles baseball. Up to this point.
The batter stands at one end of the playing field, against a wall if possible, and holds one of the large towels as a bat. Any form is accepted, although twisted into a rope and folded in half makes a good powerful bat. Technically, holding it opened up is also acceptable, although it takes much of the fun out of the game.
The bowler stands about 3 meters from the batter, and wields the small towel. It is usually scrunched up into a ball for better aerodynamics, but once again any form is accepted as long as it actually reaches the batter.
The last player, the fielder, stands a meter or so behind the bowler. The large towel he holds can be in any form, but as his goal is to catch the batter, holding it twisted into a rope and in two hands, ready to loop around the batter, has been found to be very effective. Even deadly in the right (=wrong) hands.
With the three players in place, the other players should remain on the sidelines for fear of getting mown down. This rule is only really enforced during the batting sequence - after the real game begins, anyone can join in as long as they remember at least any one rule. If only two people are playing, the role of the fielder is dropped, but we warn you that this is a lot less fun. Or dangerous.

How to play: To begin playing, the bowler throws his towel any way he wants as long as it reaches the batter. If problems arise in this, the bowler can move forward a bit, but in general any towel will easily fly three meters. The batter then has to hit, or at least touch the flying towel with his towel-bat. This is probably the second-hardest part of the game. If he completely misses the towel and it hits the wall behind him (or just flies off if there is no wall), it is considered a strike. As in baseball, it takes three strikes to get a batter out. However, if the towel falls on the floor next to him, he is perfectly allowed to simply hit it where it is on the ground - this is considered a hit as well.
Once the batter has whacked or at least grazed the towel, he must keep hold of his towel-bat and run. We have not so far determined where or how far he must run, and leave this to towel-and-error depending on the shape of the course. The batter's ultimate and extremely difficult goal is to run a bit, then get back to where he was standing. In about an hour of play we managed to achieve this about 6 times overall, but luckily it isn't the most important part of the game. Well, it sort of is, but the rest of the game is so much fun it hardly matters. However, we consider it fair play for the batter to at least run past the fielder before returning - and this is where the role of the fielder comes in. What he has to do is catch, lasso, or whack the batter into submission before the bowler runs up. What the bowler does as soon as the towel is hit is run up to it, grab it, chase after the batter and try to hit him with it. This whole time, the batter is allowed to defend himself by whacking everything in sight with his towel. Hilarity, as they say, ensues.
The only way for the batter to win is to get back to his base by eluding the bowler and fielder. The only way for the bowler to win is to hit the batter, probably with the help of the fielder. However, they can each inconvenience the opposition by stealing each other's towels. As everyone knows, all interstellar hitchhikers have to know where their towels are, and if someone has stolen their towel they are in dire danger of being eaten by a passing Bugblatter Beast of Traal. If anyone manages to grab a towel from someone else's hands, the victim is considered out, must retire from the game (if possible) and allow another person to step into his role. However, until the bowler whacks the batter or the batter gets to the base, the battle continues, often resulting in the fielder pulling the batter away with his towel while the batter valiantly hits the bowler in the face with his towel, and the bowler trying to get back his towel from under the fielder.
After either the batter or the bowler has claimed a point, everyone goes back to their positions; substituting players due to lost towels as necessary, and do it all over again. You will not believe how fun this is until you have tried it yourself.

To sum everything up:

Played by three people, with substitutes on the sidelines
The bowler throws his towel at the batter, who tries to hit it
If he misses the towel, this is a strike. Three strikes and he is out, to be replaced by one of the substitutes
As soon as he hits the towel, he must run some distance, probably past the fielder, then try to run back to his base
The fielder must try to catch him
The bowler must grab the towel he threw and whack the batter with it
If anyone loses their towel, they are out and are substituted
Nobody keeps track of the score, the game goes on indefinitely, and minor injuries are as much a part of the game as the towels.

To sum up the summary: there are no rules, as such.

Tips and ideas: Any tactics can be employed, including lassoing, hitting, throwing towels, etc. If you have lost your towel, do not ever give up. Try and get it back! If you can't get it back, at least try to stop the opposition from claiming their point for as long as possible - it makes for a good battle and people will probably cheer you on.
The bowler can use the very underhand tactic of just grabbing the towel and throwing it at the batter, thereby claiming a point. Of course, he then has to get his towel back before anyone gets to stop him; otherwise it's considered a draw.
The batter can just grab the towel and run off with it - that way, as long as the bowler doesn't get it back and the fielder doesn't catch him, he can get an easy point for himself and substitute the bowler, too. Don't do this too often though as it gets dull after a while.
Usually, the umpire's word is law - when he says that a point has been scored, stop battling. Of course, the umpire doesn't have to be accredited or anything, and has on occasion stepped into the game by grabbing a dropped towel and attacking people with it.
Towel Baseball is traditionally played on Towel Day, but that doesn't stop you playing it all day, any day. All you need is 5 or so friends and a few towels!

No idea what Towel Day is? Find out all about it on the official website!
We'd love to make Towel Baseball the official sport of Towel Day. If you spot a conversation about Towel Day (or towels in general), go on and mention this website! Also, tell us what you think at ralphiekabo AT gmail DOT com.